Only You
by Evie Warner
Summary: There was always something about the raven haired boy; an unseen trait that Gary couldn't ignore. But when a simple crush blooms into something more, it's not possible to simply move on and forget. After all, when you finally have the one you love safe in your arms, how can you bring yourself to let go? Lemon, of the yaoi kind.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Damn, it feels so good to actually write some ShiShi action. I wouldn't have had the chance for a while otherwise. Anyways, here we are, and for anyone following my other fic, consider this some form of an apology for my late updates. Inspiration won't come!

**Disclaimer:** Ash celebrating his birthday and sharing his first kiss with Gary would be my subtle way of telling you guys that I own Pokémon. Since neither event has yet happened, the math pretty much does itself.

* * *

_Only You_

xxx

Gary would never admit it. There was no possible way anyone would ever hear such words pass his lips, but Ash Ketchum was a thing of beauty. There were the obvious traits that proved this, such as his thick, tousled raven hair that refused to lay flat, springing out in all directions at the back, while strands at the front fell against his forehead, the tips brushing the dark lashes that framed his large, sienna eyes, which threw off bits of light whenever he blinked. And then there were the smaller details that one really had too look intently to be able to see, like how his cherry pink lips pushed themselves out in a slight pout whenever he was annoyed, or the way the bridge of his nose would crinkle as he frowned, and the faint dimples that appeared on his cheeks whenever he smiled.

All of it, everything about Ash was complete and utter perfection, and _fuck_, Gary couldn't bring himself to look away. He knew he should leave; Ash wouldn't be expecting him to still be here when he woke up, the same as always. Staying the whole night wasn't allowed, it wasn't part of this .. _thing_ they'd both gotten themselves into.

Gary sighed heavily, his emerald eyes still studying every feature of the raven haired boy who lay curled up against his chest, his only movement being the soft rise and fall of his chest and shoulders, the sound of his breathing barely audible in the still silence of the room. Ash's breath ghosted over Gary's chest, cool when he inhaled, and warm when he released it, soft whimpers escaping his lips as he dreamed, gently nuzzling his face into the warmth that was Gary.

The sight was impossibly cute, and each night Gary found it that much harder to bring himself to leave. He absent mindedly brushed aside some of the loose strands of raven hair, wanting to see the face shielded under their dark curtain. It was surprisingly rare to see Ash so relaxed nowadays. Usually he was so focused on something, be it training or something otherwise uninteresting, there was always some occurance to keep his attention occupied. It was almost scary seeing Ash doing anything other than laze around or spend time with his pokémon, if it weren't for the trainer's typical mannerisms, such as his short temper or one track mind for food, Gary would have a hard time believing he was the same person.

As he ran his hand through Ash's raven hair, the locks silky smooth despite their permenently messy appearance, his gaze flickered over to the digital clock on the bedside table. He couldn't supress a sigh. It was much later than he was allowed to, or rather, it was later than he would usually let himself stay.

With utmost care, Gary gently prised Ash away, which was a task in itself as the younger tended to drape himself over Gary, clinging to him even in unconciousness, usually with a fistful of auburn spikes in his hand. But once the smaller hand had been untangled from his hair, Gary turned slightly towards him, enough so that he could lift Ash and slip out from underneath him, before lowering the boy slowly where he had been lying moments before. As with every other time this routine occured, Ash immediately snuggled into the warm patch his lover had made, curling up before sinking back into his dreams, snoring ever so softly.

Gary silently moved around the room, gathering up his clothes, having been scattered carelessly around the room several hours before. As he dressed, his gaze never left the sleeping boy on the bed, the duvet creased and the pillow bunched and flattened. His emerald eyes skimmed over every line of Ash's body, half conciously noting random details, like the slight swell of muscle on his toned arms. He knew with every fibre of his being that he could stare at Ash forever, never leave his presence, and he would still never get enough of the trainer. But every night he drank in the image of innocence before him, memorising everything he could before their time together would run out.

A while back, Gary had agreed to take some time off and return home to visit, and it wasn't until he'd arrived back at the lab he'd spent most of his childhood years that it struck him how much he missed the quaint town. After a week with his family was when Ash had arrived back in the picture, having just returned from Sinnoh, parting ways with his most recent companions. The time the two rivals had spent together had, at first, been scarce, and it was only now that Gary regretted it.

Over a month had passed, and this was the final week Gary would be spending in Pallet, after which he would return to Sinnoh, the region Ash had only recently departed. He had only a short ammount of time remaining to be with Ash before reality would come crashing down without welcome, bursting Gary's bubble of tranquility completely.

At the end of the week, Gary would go his way, and Ash another.

Only a week remained until they would be seperated, just seven days to commit Ash, and every moment they shared together into his memory. Gary so desperately wished he could stop time and relive the past month over and over, never worrying about the inevitable end, for when it finally arrived and he and Ash were once again far apart, what was he supposed to do then?

Everything about Ash made Gary's head spin. He wasn't sure when, or how, exactly, but somewhere in the middle of their pointless rivalry, between those petty arguments Gary would wind the younger up about, he'd fallen completely in love with his best friend, and he'd fallen _hard_. So much so, that the mere thought of never being with him again, of someone else touching Ash in such intimate ways brought agony to his heart, like it was being squeezing tightly and torn into pieces, bleeding out yet never ceasing to beat.

Pulling himself out of his depressingly foreboding thoughts, Gary pulled the scrunched up duvet over Ash's naked form, noticing the goose pimples rising on his bare skin and not wanting him to catch a chill. The younger shifted slightly, clutching the sudden warmth closer, as Gary quietly made his way over to the bedroom door.

With one hand on the door knob, he couldn't prevent his eyes from throwing one last longing at Ash, who remained oblivious to anything happening around him. Gary quietly snuck down the hall, having closed the door behind him, and swiftly avoided the second to bottom stair, which squeaked under heavy weight. He doubted it was enough to wake Delia, much less Ash, but when everything was so quiet, it made even soft breathing sound loud.

Once he was out the front door, Gary exhaled deeply, feeling his heart beat heavily, but slowly in his chest. After spending a few hours holding Ash close to him, even the warm summer's air of night brought a chill to his previously heated skin. He mentally berated himself for not bringing a jacket, but couldn't find a reason to dwell on the thought, especially since the lab was only a short distance away.

As he made his way up the path to his home, he found himself wishing for oblivion, for relief from the aching pain in his chest.

Like every other night, it never came.

xxx

It had been exactly thirty one days ago that it all started, when Gary had gone out to find the young Charmander who'd wandered too far into the forest, managing to get itself lost. Ash had come as well, having quickly become bored with the lack of liveliness back at the lab. The fact that the forest was generally swarming with Beedrill lead to Professor Oak insisting they stay together, despite their protests. In the end they'd both agreed when Daisy had been the one to point out that they were wasting time arguing, and the Charmander could be in trouble.

Ash had been the one to hold up a conversation, which mostly consisted of him talking about this thing and that, while Gary occasionally offered a few words of response. He was beginning to wonder if he could somehow slip away while Ash was going on about something Gary had never even heard of.

That thought was quickly dashed by a terrified "Chaarr!" coming from a short distance to their right. As they'd both rushed off in that direction, Pikachu was just in time to charge a powerful Thunderbolt at a particularly nasty looking Beedrill, whom had been just inches away from striking the young fire type with it's stinger.

Thankfully the Charmander was able to think clearly enough through his panic to determine the humans as a rescue team, and had quickly ran over to them, jumping into Gary's arms before the researcher recalled him into his poké ball. The Beedrill, conveniently enough, had turned out to be at a fairly low level, with most likely being newly evolved, so it didn't take long to chase them away.

On the other hand, the brief battle also alerted the attention of the nearby Spearow flock, and by the way their leader's eyes narrowed upon landing on the younger of the two humans, it was clear to see it did _not_ like him at all, for whatever reason it had. With Pikachu rather worn out from taking care of the Beedrill, and Umbreon outnumbered greatly, it didn't seem like a battle would end well in their favour. And with an angry Fearow quickly approaching, they took the only option they had left: they ran.

As it turned out, they'd both gone deeper into the forest than they'd previously thought, and in their haste they weren't able to pick out the path back. However, with a perfectly timed Skull Bash attack to the Fearow, courtesy of Umbreon, Gary had grabbed hold of Ash pulled him inside the hollow of an oak tree, which was just big enough to fit them both in.

Pikachu and Umbreon had sought shelter in a thicket of bushes, and in the confusion, Fearow quickly lost track of all four. In one final stroke of luck, it quickly moved the search to another part of the forest, leaving the group alone.

Inside their hiding place, Ash and Gary were both panting heavily, both from their quick escape, and the fact of having to hold their breath to stay quiet. Whilst oxygen deprived, neither thought to move out into the cool air, and unintentionally remained in their close proximity, both pressed snugly against the other, able to feel each movement the other made.

A full minute passed before Gary realised the position, and his entire face heated up. He would have moved, but for some reason, his body refused to cooperate. In any case, it felt as though his mind had detatched itself from his physical form. All he was capable of doing was noticing how attractive Ash looked while his cheeks were glazed over by a pink glow.

Beads of sweat trickled down Ash's forehead, the tips of his hair slightly damp, while his chest heaved in the effort to inhale enough oxygen, and his half open eyes were glazed over in the aftermath of an adrenaline rush.

In addition to looking absolutely ravishing, in the same moment, Gary realised just how beautiful the raven haired boy was.

xxx

He'd tried to ignore it, he really did, but in the end, things just didn't work out the way he wanted them too. It would be a lie if he said he had a problem with being gay, he'd actually suspected it for a long while. Sure, he'd dated girls, slept with them, and he liked it. But there was always the feeling that something was missing. He knew he was doing things right, but something about it just seemed so wrong.

Several months before the inident with Ash was when he'd begun to suspect the possibility that he wasn't as into girls as he originally thought. At the time he was already in a relationship with a girl, whom he'd met when she'd come from Solaceon Town to deliver the three new starter pokémon. She was a pretty girl, with blonde hair and blue eyes, and they'd both made fast friends.

The trio of young pokémon still required certain care for the next few weeks, and considering how most of the aides were preoccupied with various other things, she'd ended up staying for that while to fill in. Somewhere along the line, Gary had asked her out, and she'd accepted.

After that, things went by as relationships usually went. He took her out, they kissed, slept together, but nothing could fill that empty spot Gary still felt within him. In the end, she was the one to end things, voicing the very thing Gary had suspected about himself. She suggested he try dating guys to find out for sure, but for whatever reason, Gary couldn't bring himself to go through with it, always finding someway to put it off, work being the classic excuse.

Though in the end, there was no one he was using these excuses for. Except for himself.

xxx

"Garyy ~ " Ash murmured into his lover's ear as he ran his hands through auburn spikes, his fingers flexing and scunching up periodicly as a wet warmth glided over his chest. He arched his back, biting down on his bottom lip to supress a loud moan as Gary ran his tongue over one of his nipples, gently nipping at the hardening bud.

Physically, Ash was losing control of himself; his breath came in quick, heavy pants no matter how he tried to calm himself down, his heart pounded in his chest to frantically it rang in his ears, and his arousal was so hard it was bordering on becoming painful.

He could hardly bear it, he was going insane, yet he still craved _more_.

A sound somewhere between a moan and a whimper passed his lips as Gary switched nipples, his teeth grazing against the hard bud and drawing out wonderous sounds from the raven haired boy beneath him. He trailed kisses up the younger's collar bone and up to the dip in his neck, nipping and sucking at the silken, tan skin, then lapping at it with his tongue when it broke, marring the smooth, unblemished skin with a deep purple mark that told the world everything Gary could not verbally say.

Ash was his. No one else's, all his.

As these thoughts crossed his mind, he growled deep in his throat, possessive feelings overcoming him as he lifted his head slightly to examine his work. The violet mark tarnished the tan skin beautifully, fully visible on his neck and impossible to hide. In hindsight, maybe it wasn't a good idea, but Gary didn't care anymore. When it came to Ash, he was breaking all the rules, and it felt _so_ good.

He placed a kiss on the hickey, sending a shiver down Ash's spine. Both of them were aroused to the point of no return, and Ash's entire body was impatient. Gary was determined to take his time, to sample and enjoy every inch of his perfect lover. He needed it. For them, their time was running out, slowly melting away into nothing.

Six days, and he would have to leave Ash. Maybe forever.

"G - G .. Gary ~ " Ash continued to whimper, his voice alone brushing away any negative thought, and Gary welcomed it fully.

The lack of physical contact was beginning to frustrate Ash, and his legs wrapped around Gary upon their own accord. Lost in the delirium, his sienna eyes glazed and unseeing, Ash tightened his grip on his lover, holding Gary close as he grinded his hips against the older's abs, his hard arousal coated in precum, begging for release.

Gary groaned deeply at Ash's movements, the feeling of the younger's fully erect manhood pressed against his stomach was creating a burning friction, one that had him running his hands down Ash's sides, running over every dip and curve they could reach until they rested on his rear, making the younger moan and shiver as he did.

Squeezing the soft flesh, Gary groaned in unison with his raven haired lover, deeply inhaling the scent that clung to those dark locks as Ash continued to rotate his hips heatedly against Gary. A combination of flower scented shampoo and freshly mown grass filled Gary's senses, the natural scent that was Ash twirling sensually with the heavy scent of sex that filled the room, creating an exotic aroma Gary wished would never fade.

This was it, the natural perfumes, the heat, those sensual sounds falling from Ash's innocent lips, this was what Gary wanted. Everything about the moment was perfect, because all of it was Ash, and Gary was the one he chose to share it with, the one who was making him feel this way.

"_Ah ~ !_" The pleasured, near scream jolted Gary back to his senses. Ash threw his head back, his back arching again as his fingers tightened, tugging at the auburn spikes in their grasp.

Gary pressed his lips to the skin below Ash's ear, feeling the younger's hardness twitch against his abdomen. He knew Ash was close, but Gary wasn't going to let this end so soon. His hands trailed up Ash's arms and to his own hands, gently untangling them from the auburn spikes and pinning them together on the pillow above the younger's head.

Ash, lost too deep beneath the waves of pleasure assulting his body, either wasn't aware of the sudden development, or just didn't care. At least not until a hand pressed against his stomach, pushing gently, but firmly to lower him onto the bed. His grip on Gary was easily broken in his near orgasmic state, ending the contact between the two, and causing Ash to stare up at his emerald eyed lover through glazed eyes.

"G .. Gary, wh - what .. ?" He murmured breathily through his gaze, too consumed by passion to say anything more.

Gary smirked in a way not unlike how he would during their days as rivals, and from the way sienna eyes widened, the younger was aware of what to expect, even through his clouded mind.

"Say please, Ashy boy," Gary teased, increasing his grip on the younger's wrists when Ash tried to pull them free.

His stubborn side bubbling up, Ash fiercely shook his head, which only made Gary's smirk grow. He leaned down to kiss Ash's neck, nibbling at the rim to coax out fresh whimpers from his uke.

"Go on, Ashy," he purred, running his tongue over the rim of Ash's ear. "You want it, right?"

Almost automatically, Ash nodded, his chest still heaving.

Gary nuzzled the younger's jawline, whispering, "Then say it, say _please_." He nibbled the lobe of Ash's ear before the latter could protest, making him writhe against the bed, whimpering slightly.

"Garyyy .. " He whined softly, his thighs brushing against Gary's sides, but his pelvis still pinned to the bed beneath the researcher's touch. It was pure torture.

The emerald eyed teen couldn't help but chuckle at the younger's pleas, his futile attempts to regain physical contact. He knew it was cruel, but seeing the infamously stubborn Ash Ketchum helpless beneath his touch, it was a memory he wanted to last forever.

"Just say it, Ashy," Gary cooed, his lips brushed against the rim of Ash's ear as he spoke. "You want me to touch you?"

Despite his refusal to beg, Ash nodded.

"Do you want me to kiss you all over?"

Another nod. Gary couldn't hide his smirk.

"And you want me to _fuck_ you?"

The effect was instant. Ash whined deeply from behind forcefully closed lips, his eyelids pressed together as the force of Gary's words sent shivers through him.

Yes, he wanted it. He wanted Gary _so_ bad he felt like it would drive him insane, but there was absolutely no way Ash was going to beg to his former rival, no matter what happened.

"No!" He protested, his voice coming out as an adorable squeak. Again, he shook his head fiercely, refusing to open his eyes. "No! No, no, no, no, n - mmph!"

Sienna eyes snapped open as Gary's lips covered his own. Despite possessing a stubborn side to rival Ash's, when all came down to his raven haired lover, Gary was a complete pushover, especially in times like these. He loosened his grip on Ash's wrists, not having the heart to tease him further.

Ash's arms immediately circled Gary's neck, pulling the two closer and deepening the kiss. Gary ran his tongue over closed, plump lips, which parted slightly to allow access. As Gary's tongue met Ash's, coaxing it into a lustful dance within the warm, wet cavern, the emerald eyed teen slid his hand off the younger's stomach, reaching round to his lower back to pull him closer.

As two long legs clamped around his waist once more, Gary lowered the both of them onto the bed, his other hand entangling themselves within raven locks. Ash moaned happily through the kiss, easily dominated by Gary's tongue and unable to find the will to fight back. All he wanted was Gary to pleasure him in every way possible.

Gary, wanting the exact same thing as his uke, lowered his hand from Ash's back to rest on his butt, unable to resist squeezing it gently before his index finger brushed against Ash's entrance.

Gasping at the sudden touch, Ash gripped onto the closest thing within reach, which, once again, happened to be Gary's hair. He whimpered, shifting in slight discomfort as Gary pushed his finger inside his entrance, pulling out slightly before sliding back in, allowing Ash to adjust and get used to the feeling.

In comparison to the first time Gary did this, the feeling was expected, but impossible to get used to. When a second finger was added, Ash groaned, tugging at the handful of auburn hair. He squealed slightly as Gary wiggled his fingers, something the latter knew Ash liked.

Feeling Ash tensed up slightly, Gary was gentle when moving his fingers, buried deep within his lover. No matter how excrutiating the wait, he outright refused to cause Ash any pain. Even if it took hours until Ash was ready, then Gary would wait; under no circumstances would he ever hurt him.

Carefully scissoring Ash's entrance, Gary pressed his lips from Ash's to his jawline, trailing firm, but tender kisses down to his neck. His grip intensifed on dark locks, and Ash tilted his head, allowing Gary full access to the smooth skin.

When the third and final finger slipped into the stretched entrance, Ash bucked his hips, his erection brushing against Gary's and causing the researcher to hiss, accidently pulling hard on raven hair and causing Ash to cry out.

"Shit, sorry," Gary gasped in apology, feeling a sudden shock fan out in his chest at the thought of Ash being hurt because of him.

But Ash shook his head, looking up at Gary, sincere sienna eyes meeting worried emerald. "Mmm .. s'okay," he mumbled in response.

Nodding slightly, Gary lowered his head to place a tender kiss on Ash's lips, one hand falling from raven hair to cup the younger's cheek. At the same time, he pushed his fingers as deep as he could within his lover, having previously memorised _exactly_ where to hit him, and the moment his fingers came into contact with Ash's prostrate, sienna eyes burst open, pinks lips parting to let out a scream of pleasure, muffled by the other pair of lips pressed against his own.

Gary smirked through this; the reactions he drew out of Ash aroused him more than he would ever admit, and the scream alone was enough to make him cum without being physically touched. His girth was throbbing almost painfully as he continued to listen to the sweet sounds that passed Ash's lips, ranging from sharp gasps to soft, drawn out moans, and finally, he withdrew his fingers, feeling his heart clench slightly at Ash's whimper of disappointment.

Instead of offering a verbal soothing, he reached down to place his hands on Ash's thight, gripping them lightly. "Ash, c .. could you .. ?" He didn't need to finish his sentence for Ash to understand the request, for a moment later Ash loosened his grip around Gary, allowing the emerald eyed boy to spread his legs, exposing his prepared entrance.

"You .. you ready?" Gary whispered, panting softly, and eager to pleasure Ash, but only if the younger was willing.

The raven haired boy nodded, and Gary stroked his cheek, brushing strands of dark hair away from those lust filled features, emerald eyes gazing deep into sienna.

As many times as Gary thought so, even when he knew it was true, it still astounded him just how beautiful the raven haired boy was. His slim arms still rested in auburn hair, holding Gary in a loose embrace.

"Ash, I .. " Gary started, his lips moving, but no words being formed.

Ash, curious as to what Gary wanted to say, tilted his head slightly. "Y .. you wha .. ?" Was all he could manage.

"I .. " He wanted to tell him, absorbed deep within the moment, Gary wanted Ash to know exactly how ravishing he looked right now, how beautiful, and utterly perfect was in every possible way. "I .. Ash, I .. "

His sentence would never be finished, and Ash knew this, pulling Gary close and leaning up to make their lips meet. In his delirium, the first few attempts were sloppy, resulting in him placing mismatched kissed against Gary's cheeks and jawline, before Gary cupped his chin with one hand, angling the younger's face appropriately to make their lips touch.

Ash hummed happily past Gary's tongue, having slid his own through the researcher's parted lips. He felt the head of Gary's arousal touch his entrance and automatically tensed, despite knowing what would follow the initial discomfort.

"Shh," Gary soothed, pressing a kiss to Ash's cheek. "Just relax. I won't hurt you," he promised. Ash only gave a nod in response, knowing Gary would understand the gesture for what it was.

Spreading Ash's legs wider, keeping a firm grip on his thighs, Gary gently pushed his hips forward, the tip of his arousal sliding into Ash, whose inside muscles tightened around him. Slowly but steadily, Gary inched deeper, biting down hard on his bottom lip to surpress his heated groans. Even after they'd been intimate several times, to Gary, it still felt like it was the first time.

As he slid his entire length within the younger, Gary gently rubbed circles on Ash's cheek with his thumb, whispering hushed reassurances in his ear. In response, Ash only groaned through his bliss.

When he was completely inside Ash, Gary buried his face into the crook of the younger's neck, breathing deeply as his hand gripped raven hair. Beneath him, Ash shifted slightly in discomfort, his inside clenching as he adjusted to the intruder. It took every last part of Gary's self control not to completely ravish him right there and then.

Soft gasps escaped Ash's lips every so often, until he confirmed it was okay to go on, which came in the form of a sigh and a nod, his legs clamping round Gary's waist tightly, holding him close.

Almost hesitantly, Gary pulled out, shivering slightly as he left Ash's warmth, then made his journey back in. Ash's grip on his hair tightened, moans passing his lips as Gary continued thrusting, his pace gradual.

"Aaahh .. " Ash moaned, feeling the build up of pleasure starting to consume him.

Gary groaned deeply, his face buried in the dip in Ash's neck, his lips touching the fresh, purple mark on the younger's skin. His hands moved from where they rested, slithering down Ash's sides and to his hips. With each thrust he pushed deeper, but until Ash wished otherwise, his pace remained slow.

"Mmm .. G .. Gary," Ash's voice was barely a breath, brushing over Gary's skin and making goosebumps rise. His erection, now dripping with precum, was pressed against Gary's stomach and his own, their movements creating an unbearable friction. He doubted he'd be able to last very long if this kept up, but he didn't care, it felt _so_ good and he wanted it _so_ bad.

"Fuck," Gary gasped, feeling tortured by the slow pace. If Ash didn't say he could very soon, he was sure he wouldn't be able to hold back.

Indeed, it seemed as though Ash felt the same way. His nails digging into Gary's back, he moaned, almost desperately, " .. Gary .. faster .. "

Complying without hesitation, Gary obeyed his lover's demand, quickening the pace of his thrusts, going as deep as he dared.

Ash gasped with the sudden change, his moans increasing in volume and pitch, while his eyes became half lidded in pleasure, tears starting to gather in the corners.

"Oh, fuck .. Ash .. " Gary moaned in between words, sending a shiver down Ash's spine. His arousal was excrutiatingly hard, and he was so close, so very close, and each thrust was pushing him nearer to the edge, waves of ecstasy crashing through him and making his nerves sing.

Right now, nothing else mattered. There was just him, Gary and the mind numbing pleasure they were sharing. Any previously felt pain was now non existent to Ash, completely dominated by the feelings that he knew only Gary could grant him. And he didn't want it any other way.

Both of their bodies were glazed by a layer of sweat, beads dripping down Gary's forehead as he thrusted. Looking down at Ash, he could see the younger was lost beneath ecstasy, his eyes glazed, his lips parted, and his arousal dripping wet. The sight made Gary tighten his grip on Ash, resisting the urge to touch his manhood. That he could make Ash orgasm without touching him was his secret thrill, and he wanted it to happen.

"Ga - Gary .. I .. I - aaahhh ~ !" Ash cried, struggling to conjure words that would not come. He threw his head back against his pillow, his back arching as he neared his peak. His resolve was slipping; it wouldn't be long now. He just needed a little more, just a few more thrusts ..

Gary's entire body trembled as his climax approached, one hand gripped hold of Ash's hip, his knuckles white with the pressure, while the other clenched down onto the spot on the pillow beside Ash's head, creasing the material. The emotions and feelings were stirring inside him like a tsunami, oxygen a struggle to get into his lungs, his eyes forced shut by his pleasured hysteria.

And this was Ash's breaking point.

"G - Gary .. Gary, I .. I .. aahh ~ !" He almost screamed, his entire body arching like an elegant bow as he came, white fluid spurting from his untouched sex, covering Gary's stomach with the incriminating evidence.

Gary, on the other hand, groaned deeply, the sudden tightness around his arousal sending him into a series of shuddering thrusts until he too orgasmed loudly, hot liquid gushing inside Ash's velvet warmth, filling him to the brim.

Both completely spent, neither said anything in the few minutes that followed, the only sound heard was their heavy breathing as they struggled to get enough oxygen back into their lungs.

Eventually, Gary lifted his head to look at Ash, who had fallen back against the pillow, his lithe chest heaving, and an attractive red blush glowing across his cheeks. His sienna eyes remained half open, flickers of lust sparkling in their depths. Gary knew he would never be able to witness a more beautiful vision than the one currently before him.

As their breathing slowed down, Ash's gaze found Gary's, sienna meeting emerald as the two stared into each other's eyes. No words needed to be said, yet in his typical fashion, Ash was the one to oppose this.

"Wow .. " He murmured, his legs, weakened by the intensity of his orgasm, were slipping from their hold around Gary's waist. "That .. that was .. "

Amazing. Incredible. Mind blowing. Unbelievable. Gary could think of a million ways to describe the sex they just had, even in his hazy mind, and it still wouldn't come close to being accurate.

" .. good." Ash finally decided.

Gary almost wanted to slap his forehead, but one look at the boy beneath him and any annoyance vanished. "Yeah," he agreed. "Yeah, good .. "

Somewhat reluctantly, Gary pulled out of his lover, shivering slightly as he did so, allowing liquid to spill onto the sheets, and lowered himself on the bed next to Ash, who wasted no time in cuddling up to him, resting his head on Gary's chest and letting out a sigh of content, a tired, but genuine smile on his face. It wasn't long before quiet, soothing snores blurred with the sounds of his breathing, his exhaustion having gotten the better of him.

Ten years ago, falling asleep first was a classic thing to tease Ash over, but now, Gary was speechless. When lost in unconsciousness, Ash looked positively cute, the smile still playing on his lips, his entire body tiny when curled up like that.

Running a hand through the ruffled raven locks, Gary brushed a few strands away from Ash's face, wanting to drink in the image of his peaceful oblivion. While he usually would have been deep in sleep by now, Gary was wide awake, wanting only to memorise every detail of the raven haired boy. At first he'd limited his time to half an hour at most, but it had soon altered to a full hour, then two. Now most of the time, it was dawn before Gary was physically able to leave the sleeping boy's side.

He briefly considered breaking the new habit tonight, but Ash's nose touching his neck, warm breath ghosting over his skin, was enough to dash those forming ideas.

If their time together was becoming increasingly limited, then Gary was willing to spend every moment he could in Ash's presence. And as Ash gripped onto his shoulder, Gary was content to believe the feeling was mutual.

xxx

That night was one where Gary stayed for much longer than he ever had before; by the time he was able to bring himself to leave Ash's side, the sun was already in the sky. Yet still, he found mundane reasons to linger around, dressing slowly, making sure Ash was comfortable and warm in his sleep, and gathering the younger's discarded clothes from the floor and folding them. He briefly considered throwing them in the washing machine for when Ash woke up, but ultimately decided otherwise.

As always, Ash looked content in his sleep, loose tresses of raven hair resting lightly upon sun tanned skin and framing his face like a dark halo. The way Ash looked when he slept was nothing short of angelic, so much so that could hardly believe all the intimate things they'd shared with one another, despite being the one to do most of the work. It was impossible how Ash could still look so innocent.

Redirecting his emerald eyes from the boy's sleeping face, Gary pulled the duvet up to Ash's shoulders, then pressed a kiss to the younger's forehead. Though he'd been up all night, Gary didn't feel the least bit tired, and even if he were, he wouldn't be able to sleep, not when his mind was so active and almost painfully crammed full of thoughts, worries and fears.

He turned away from Ash and made his way out the room, sighing deeply once the bedroom door was closed. This time, they had met up at the lab, and in turn they'd fallen asleep in Gary's bed. Or rather, Ash had. It was times like these that Gary pondered if his grandfather suspected anything between the two teens, but no matter which way he went about it, the result didn't seem very likely, purely because the professor was usually so focused on his work, he wouldn't notice if Ash's entire group of Tauros came stampeding through the wall. He'd probably just call out for Tracey to answer the door.

So the odds that he had noticed his grandson was in some kind of friends-with-benefits with his best friend weren't very high.

All the same, Gary couldn't help but wonder what his grandfather would think if he ever did find out. He'd always been an open minded person, and same sex relationships had never been something to spark any kind of controversy with him, but when it turned out your only grandson was gay .. that could result in almost anything.

With all the thoughts about Ash still consuming his mind, Gary found it easy to brush the suspicion aside. No matter how bad things could get with his family, he doubted it would take any of them long to get over it. If anything, Daisy would probably be thrilled with having a gay younger brother.

Whilst lost in his musings, Gary soon found himself wandering around the lab aimlessly, eventually leading him outside into the muggy, morning air. Most everything was silent aside from a few Gloom and Vileplume dancing around, sprinkling pollen over the grass and making it glitter as though each blade were encrusted with gold. He made his way down to the lake, not wanting to startle the nocturnally working pokémon or end up inhaling a mouthful of pollen.

It didn't take long to find a quiet, secluded spot by the lake, where he sat down on the dewy grass and was content to watch the sun rise, bathing the preserve in a soft glow. The beauty of it all wasn't enough to lighten his depressive thoughts, instead finding himself falling deep into an increasing dispair. His overbearing thoughts almost immediately broke loose sparking emotions Gary hoped he'd never be able to feel again.

For what must have been hours, Gary remained where he was, his emerald eyes fixed upon a lily pad in the middle of the lake as it gently glided across the surface of the water in the light breeze. In that time, Gary had stitched together a plan, one that would - hopefully - end in the least painful result for both him and Ash.

It was decided; next time he and Ash hooked up wouild be the last. Maybe he should have done this sooner, but a few days to sort things out together was better than just one. The thought of a final goodbye was too much for him to stand, but if the alternative was waiting until the last minute to drag out a long and awkward break up, then he wanted to get it over and done with, as quick and as painless as he could manage, like ripping off a band aid.

With this thought in mind, Gary found himself envisioning the alternative, turning out into the classic, clichéd scene where Gary would take Ash into his arms and kiss him with as much passion as he could muster. Ash would whisper soothing promises in his ear, ones that would allow them to stay together in the end, so long as they both waited for one another.

And Gary wanted it. But even if such a scenario could happen, it wouldn't end well. Ash wouldn't be willing to end his journey just to be with Gary, to give up on his dreams just so he could spend his life with the one who once made his life hell.

All the kisses and all the promises in the world could not transform such a fantasy into reality.

So that was that. Gary would be the one to break things off, then it would be in his control. He wasn't going to stand around and wait for Ash to do it, just waiting, and maybe even hoping for the axe to fall. He was an Oak, and Oak's didn't hand over the controls to anyone. Gary wasn't willing to be the first to break that rule.

Leaning backwards, Gary lowered himself onto the grass, the moisture seeping through his shirt and soaking his back, but it wasn't enough to create a distraction. He didn't want to think of the coming future, life after this arrangement with Ash ended.

No matter how he tried to sort things out, it all came down to one simple, yet painfully complicated truth.

He had fallen in love with his best friend.

It was sure to end in heart break.

xxx

There was a knock on the door when Gary eventually trailed back to the lab. He'd opened it to find Delia beaming brightly at him.

"Gary, how are you?" She greeted, connecting them into a hug before he could protest. Not that he would have. "I wasn't expecting you to be up so early, what's the occasion?" She inquired once she let him go, still smiling.

Gary shrugged, then decided to elaborate. "Nothing, really," he admittedly. "Just .. having one of those days, y'know." Depending on which particular day he meant, it wasn't technically a lie; adding guilt to his emotion storm of conflict would be his breaking point.

Thankfully, Delia swiftly moved on with the conversation, "Ah yes, I understand. I can't tell you how much I wish Ash would have one of those days. I'm happy that he gets enough sleep each night for a boy his age, but I can't imagine how being able to sleep until noon each day can be completely healthy."

Maybe not the way Gary would have wanted the point of conversation to steer, but it was still better than silently moping around and feeling sorry for himself. Even if he had tried to push the subject aside, Delia was already continuing voicing her views to Gary whilst walking towards the kitchen, the researcher a few steps behind her.

Once they'd arrived at their destination, Delia placed the basket she'd been carrying on the counter and turned to look at Gary. "Where is Ash, anyway? Still asleep?" She inquired, though it was clear she already knew the answer.

Gary decided to confirm it, anyway. "Uh, yeah. I could wake him and let him know you're here if you'd like?"

But Delia waved the offer away. "No, no, that's fine. If he's not up in an hour I'll get him myself," she said.

It was a sort of unspoken arrangement between the two households. When they were children, Ash and Gary would gladly spend every minute of every day with each other, usually at the lab. A lot of the time they'd exhaust themselves while running through the fields of the preserve, and would end up falling asleep together, either in Gary's room, on the living room couch, or in one of their many secret hideouts (which Daisy always seemed to be able to find).

Since both boys seemed perfectly content snuggled up to one another, and waking them ran the risk of having to deal with two rather cranky seven year olds, neither Delia nor Gary's parents could see any reason not to let them have sleepovers. After that, it wasn't unusual for Ash and Gary to decide to spend the night with one another completely on the spot, and since the adults had already arranged for such moments as these, it fell into a periodic routine.

Years later, the agreement remained, meaning it wasn't unusual or inconvenient for the two teenagers to decide on their own to spent the night in each other's company. And apparently no one but they saw the convenience in such happenings.

Cutting through his reminiscing was the sudden sound of Delia sighing. As Gary turned his emerald eyes towards her, he immediately noticed a dark cloud looming over her. "Is something wrong?" He asked, genuinely concerned. Since his own mother was usually out of town focusing heavily on her career, Delia had filled that role whilst he'd been growing up. As such, he cared for her in the same way he cared about his other family members.

"Hmm?" Delia hummed, apparently not having realised she'd made a sound. "Oh, it's nothing, really," she said, but it was obvious to a blind man that something was bothering her.

"Seriously," Gary offered, "you can tell me."

Delia's eyes met his, her entire stance one of hesitance. But as she silently contemplated it, Gary found himself distracted. It was common knowledge that Ash had inherited his eyes from his mother, but the researcher had never really thought it much until a few weeks ago, not long after the Beedrill incident. The shade of brown, and the large, rounded shape were identical on both mother and son, but in the same way, they were both worlds apart in difference.

Delia's were bright and kind, sparkling when she smiled, and always seemed to generate a warm aura whenever they made contact with another. Ash's, on the other hand, weren't the same; his weren't soft and gentle, they were sharp and fierce, yet still contained the edge of innocence. They shined whenever they caught the light, but the aura created upon eye contact wasn't one of warmth, it was more like fire; a blazing inferno of challenge and determination.

So different, yet so alike; Delia's emitted a mother's love, while Ash's contained the spark of a champion.

Gary had inherited his eyes from his own mother, yet any physical greetings between the two were few and far between, meaning it was difficult for Gary to pinpoint any differences they shared, though in the end, he guessed there was really no point in finding out.

"Oh, it's nothing, just .. " Delia hesitated again, inner sadness clouding her usually bright eyes. It was never a good sign.

Gary hoped to make things easier for her. "Is it Ash?" He asked, silently praying that it wasn't, but the hope was dashed once Delia gave a slight nod of her head.

It was obvious to a Slowpoke that Ash was happy and healthy, which offered reassurance to Gary that at least he wasn't dying. Not to mention if it was something serious, he likely would have been informed by now. Yet he still couldn't shake the feeling of dread creeping through his chest.

"I know it's silly, really," she elaborated, "after all, he's out on a journey all the time. He's home for a week at most when he comes back, and I know it's not a permenant thing, but still .. I miss him."

There were no tears in her eyes, but there may as well have been. Though Ash would have been the best one to offer comfort, nonetheless, Gary felt no shame in giving her a hug, which she immediately returned. For a brief moment, Gary smiled slightly at the role reversal. In his childhood years, it was Delia who offered him comfort, but while he was once small enough for her to pick up without strain, now he was the one who was able to look right over the top of her head.

It was even more amusing to recall how Ash still hadn't caught up to her in height. Sure, he was close, but ultimately it seemed as though she would always be taller than her own son.

"It'll be okay," Gary assured. "He's been home for over a month, and he's not planning to go anywhere soon. Maybe he's taking a break or something."

But he knew something was wrong the moment Delia shook her head.

"Oh, no, he's been planning his next trip since the week he got back."

With those words, the entire world froze. Every muscle in Gary's body tensed, and his eye's widened. In the back of his mind, he was thankful he'd offered Delia a hug; at least she wouldn't be able to see his shock.

"He, uh .. " For a moment, Gary was unable to find his voice, but after clearing his throat, he asked, "He did what?"

Mercifully, Delia didn't notice any unease. Or if she did, then she hid it well. "Since he came back from Sinnoh he's been thinking about his options," she explained. "Your grandfather mentioned a friend of his in another region, Unova, I think it was, and he's been planning the journey there ever since." She sighed softly. "He'd probably be there right now if he could. Planes there aren't common, just once every month or so, and since other means of transport aren't wide in variety, he's decided to take things easy for a while."

The end of the sentence fell upon deaf ears. As Delia mentioned various things about Ash, Unova and anything else, Gary could only stand with unseeing eyes.

For montg, after he'd gotten into this friends-with-benefits agreement, Ash had been making plans to leave, and Gary had been none the wiser. Their time together had been limited from the start, they both knew that, yet Ash hadn't even mentioned that he was planning to leave the region?

Wait .. had he? Gary thought back on their conversations, even the words Ash had occasionally mumbled in his sleep, but nothing came up, no words referencing any kind of journey, not even to Viridian City, had been uttered once by the young trainer.

"Are .. are you sure?" He dared to ask, hoping with every part of him that Delia had gotten Ash mixed up with someone else. But even he knew that was a stupid thing to consider.

"Yes," she confirmed. "He's leaving at the end of the week."

She may as well have just shot him. The searing pain of hot lead cutting into his flesh would have been more merciful than this. Ash was leaving in just a few days, something he'd been planning for a _month_, but he hadn't felt it neccesary to tell Gary. Maybe their relationship wasn't an offical one, but they were still friends; didn't that count for something?

Apparently not.

Gary stared out the window, trying desperately not to well up with someone else in the room. Despite neither of them having hinted at wanting to share an official relationship with one another, Gary had hoped that Ash still wanted something more to occur between them, that Ash would ask him to stay in Pallet, or promise to come and visit him in Sinnoh. But all of that hope had just died.

He felt like an idiot. Of course Ash would start a new journey as soon as he could, but as absent minded as he was, even he was one to tell other's of his decision. Most of those people consisted of people he used to travel with, Misty, Brock, and such, people he cared a lot for and wanted to stay close to.

Clearly Gary didn't have a place in Ash's future. The revelation was enough to make the first tear fall from glistening emerald eyes.

xxx

Change of plan. Starting from thereon out, anything between Gary and Ash was no more. Of course, Gary never actully told Ash this. He was a coward for doing so, but he didn't care. The talk with Delia still fresh in his mind, just the thought of talking to Ash left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Maybe he was being hypocritical, after all, this was the kind of thing that happened; Ash often chose his new destination on the very same day his previous journey ended, and Gary hadn't been much different. Unless it came up in conversation, then neither ever told the other their plans for the future.

But this was different. Now there was .. something going on between them. Sure, it wasn't like they were dating, they hadn't even been together that long, but Gary was certain this was the kind of arrangement that required some obvious sign that it was coming to end, and coming out with it at the last minute didn't count. A few days notice would be nice.

Gary never got any of that. Ash had been _planning_ his next journey for quite some time now; this wasn't something he'd decided on a whim, his plans had been set not long after he came back to Pallet, and not one word of it had reached Gary's ears until today, and even that had been accidental. Would Ash have ever told him? Would Gary have been the one to wake up and find Ash gone, not just from his bed, but from the whole region?

So that was that; starting now, things were over between them.

The day passed by otherwise uneventfully, at least for Gary. While he was busying himself with chores, Ash had been pleasantly surprised when a certain Pidgeot swung by for a visit, which was apparently the long awaited reunion both trainer and pokémon had been waiting for. It was something Gary had found quite odd; the forest the bird pokémon lived in was literally a neighbour to the preserve, so unless a lot more conflict between the Pidgey and Spearow families than the residents of Pallet were aware of, then he doubted it would have taken much effort on Ash's behalf to wander in for a visit.

Though really, he found himself unable to care. What struck his interest about the event was the effect it had on Ash. The look on his face when he and his pokémon had shared a hug was one that Gary had seen a few times in his life, and each time that happened, Gary had been the one on the recieving end.

It was that one that read, clear as day, 'You're here'. Two simple words, but with flawless sincerity. It was the smile Ash used whenever he and Gary had crossed paths, one that radiated pure joy at seeing his rival, even when he'd come to expect teasing and taunts.

Gary could never understand how Ash, or anyone for that matter, could ever be honestly thrilled to see him. It was confusion that lingered around him for days on end after their initial meeting, but one that was eventually brushed aside.

Avoiding Ash for the day had been surprisingly easy, and Gary wrapped up the day by not meeting the trainer that evening, instead going straight back to the lab and falling asleep unusually early. He'd be lying if he said he was calm; he was anything but. He was feeling annoying nervous about the whole thing, which was the main reason for his early night, other reasons being more along the lines of being genuinely exhausted, having tired himself by completing as much as he could as a way of avoiding Ash.

He felt guilty for doing this, but he was done with this entire charade. If Ash didn't have the decency to inform Gary that he was travelling halfway across the damn world, then Gary wasn't going to bother telling him that he didn't want to meet up ever again.

Knowing Ash, he would come looking for answers in the morning, and when he did, Gary was going to inform him that their dalliance was history.

xxx

As predicted, Ash arrived at the lab, his eyes giving away his confusion. Typical Ash, always being much too easy to read.

Gary stuck to his plans, doing everything he could to prevent Ash from being able to speak to him. He could feel the younger's burning gaze upon him, and it was only through sheer force of will that Gary managed to resist the overwhelming urge to look just once.

Aside from the constant caution required to keep a watch out for the raven haired boy, the day passed by more or less like any other would. Gary did everything he usually would; he took care of the many pokémon on the preserve, reorganised various misplaced files in his grandfather's lab, occasionally chatted with Daisy, and even did some house work.

But through all of that, Ash was always there. Gary didn't need to look to confirm the small fact, but the one time his emerald eyes locked onto sienna for a split second, it told him everything he needed to know. The emotions swimming in Ash's eyes made Gary's heart clench uncomfortably.

Ash was confused and hurt by Gary's sudden avoidance of him, yet the situation didn't make a lick of sense to him. Maybe that was best.

It was an hour after the unintentional revelation that Ash finally caught up with the researcher, cornering him when he'd gone into his grandfather's study. Gary mentally cursed at himself for walking right into a vulnerable position.

"Gary, what's going on?" Ash asked quietly, his voice laced with a combination of confusion and pain. If it were possible, Gary felt even worse about doing this. "Why are you avoiding me all of a sudden? Did I do something wrong? I'm really sorry if I did, I .. I swear I didn't know .. "

The micro second Ash's eyes met his, Gary redirected his gaze to the wall. One look at those sienna orbs and it was all over. Gary knew all too well what they did to him. He masked his face, wiping his expression clear of emotion, and managed a nonchalant shrug. "I'm not avoiding you," his tone was colder than he'd intended. He didn't miss Ash flinching at his words from the corner of his eyes, and could only pray his façade held up.

Gary allowed his eyes to meet Ash's, and instantly regretted it. He didn't want to see the pain he'd caused reflecting in those large orbs. None of this was _real_. How was it that Ash would wind up being the victim when the whole problem stemmed back to his actions? If anyone's eyes should be shimmering with tears, it was Gary's.

" .. you could have fooled me," Ash whispered, his voice barely audible. He bit his lower lip slightly, blinking a few times before looking back up at Gary. "Seriously, what's going on? I .. I thought - "

"Well look at that, Ashy-boy can think," Gary snapped with unintended cruelty. "For someone with such low intelligence it's amazing how you never cease to surprise me."

As the effect of each biting word struck Ash, his eyes widened in shock, staring at Gary in disbelief. The tears in his eyes remained, but refrained from falling. Gary was thankful for it.

"I, uh .. " Ash struggled with his next words, inhaling deeply a few times before managing to ask, "W .. what do you mean?"

His rarely used ten year old instincts kicked in, and Gary rolled his eyes before asking, "Would you like me to spell it out for you?" Barely disguised sarcasm laced every word. "Actually, I'll just come out and say it, otherwise you'll never get the message into your head."

"Gary, wh - "

"I'm done, Ash," the researcher interrupted, continuing before Ash could react. "With you, with us, with everything about this fucked up deal you pulled me into. I want nothing to do with any of it. I'm _done_."

Finally, the tears spilled over, trailing in smooth lines of moisture as each one rolled down Ash's cheeks. It was the only movement he was capable of making. His eyes were wide and unblinking, fixed unwaveringly upon Gary's, while every muscle in his body seemed to tense up.

A full few minutes passed without movement, Gary being unwilling to break the stillness, while Ash seemed unable to. It was as though someone had frozen the two teen where they stood.

Eventually, it was Ash who broke the silence. " .. done?" His voice was barely a breath, shaking and cautious. Scared, even. "Gary?" He took a tiny step towards the researcher, his eyes reflecting disbelief. "Are .. are you .. breaking up with me?"

And this was why Gary wanted to simply rip off the band aid. Even when he was furious with Ash, the trainer still managed to make him want to slit his own throat.

"I wouldn't say 'breaking up' exactly," Gary replied, now avoiding Ash's eyes and focusing instead on the bookshelf beside him. "You can't exactly break up with someone you were only ever occasionally fucking, can you?"

A pink blush lit up Ash's cheeks. "Only .. fucking?" He repeated the words slowly, as though Gary had just told him that Pikachu had died. He took another shy step forward, lifting his hand slightly to reach out to Gary, before he realised what he was doing and reined it back, holding it against his chest. "Yeah, right, of course. I - it was just .. just .. "

It was agony, seeing Ash looking so lost, so hurt, and knowing exactly what, or rather _who_ was the cause. It was too late to back down, but in the end, it was for the best. If they'd kept stringing each other along, dragging their arrangement out for as long as they dared, then it was impossible for any of it to end well.

"I've moved on," he lied bluntly. Though it wasn't technically a lie. He was trying to move on, wasn't he? And if this was what it took to ensure Ash wouldn't come back, then so be it.

With all that had happened between them, Gary didn't doubt that this could very well be the last conversation they could ever have. He wanted to commit every part of Ash to memory, even when he was teary eyed and pained. But when he gave into temptation and lifted his emerald eyes to meet Ash's, he saw only the empty space where Ash had been standing, and the door behind it, open.

Whatever there was to be said, the words Ash needed to hear, would remain unspoken. And as the realisation sunk in, Gary's own vision became blurred, and his cheeks wet with salty tears.

xxx

* * *

**Author's Note:** Did that end abruptly, or am I being nit-picky? I just felt bad breaking Ash's heart like that T_T But it's okay, cause it's not over yet! At first it was a one-shot, but I figured it would be a bit of a hefty read, so I split it in two.

So yeah, if you liked, then would it be too much to ask for a review? :)


	2. Chapter Two

**Author's Note:** I typed up the first chapter in a day and a half, chapter two takes about three weeks .. yepp, that's how I work :D

**Disclaimer:** As much as it saddens me to say it, Pokémon isn't mine.

**Special Mention:** To the horse in the Grand National who lost it's rider but came second. I was cheering for you!

* * *

_Only You_

xxx

Personally, Gary had always thought that girls tended to overreact when discussing romance. Honestly, was a simple break up really so depressing it was practically required to cry into their pillows all night and bust the top button on their favourites jeans by over indulging on the highest calorie ice cream they could find? Not to mention they became hysterical over the fact that the guy they claimed to be in love with must have dumped them because they put on weight.

Common sense apparently never reached girls whilst lost in their break up induced depression. Though it was best never to tell them this, lest you were willing to be the target of their hormonally enhanced wrath.

And yes, Gary still thought all this, only now he was wondering if such emotions could be genuinely agonising. In about ten minutes, it would be exactly twenty four hours since his break-up-of-sorts with Ash. With no other fitting term for the end of their so called 'arrangement', calling it a break was just easier.

Twenty four hours. An entire day and night cycle since he'd last laid eyes upon the raven haired boy, who had left his sight with tears in his eyes. Tears that fell because of Gary, the one who just two days ago had sworn never to be the one to hurt him.

As that thought returned to taunt him once more, Gary didn't bother restraining the urge to punch the wall. Hard. A chunk of paint chipped off, fluttering to the ground in a large flake. But the damage hadn't been limited to the wall. The impact had caused the skin on Gary's knuckles to break, thick red liquid gathering in smalls beads from the tiny wounds. Pain throbbed up his hand and extended down his arm, but Gary barely felt it. His mind was too crammed full of thoughts for him to care.

Why? Why the hell did this have to happen? He aimed another punch at the wall, harder than the last, blood beginning to trail down the back of his hand, while another flake of paint joined the first on the ground by Gary's feet.

Everything just had to get so messed up, and yet again, Gary was the bad guy in all this. Just like always.

He was cruel to admit it, but he couldn't find the will to lie, not even to himself. He didn't deserve the comfort of false belief. He didn't _want_ it.

Ash was the victim in all this, identical to every other time he and Gary had clashed over something, no matter how trivial. But Gary didn't want it that way. He wanted Ash to be the one to blame. He wanted some reason, any reason to hate Ash even a little. Was that too much to ask?

His fist reconnected with the wall, the green wallpaper smeared with red.

Of course it was. Ash had done nothing wrong, so he didn't deserve it. And Gary hated him just for that. Everything stemmed back to the younger, but Gary was the one to mess things up. Ash was getting ready to travel to Unova for Arceus' knows how long, and had neglected to inform Gary of this decision. That on it's own was bad, but as always, Gary overshadowed this.

Confict raged within him, one side denying Gary was at fault, while the other side made it obvious that he had been too quick to jump to conclusions. And to Gary himself, both sides made an equal ammount of sense. No matter which way he went about it, he couldn't find a reason to say Ash was entirely justified in his decision. If he didn't want certain people to know about his plans, then that was fine, but if Daisy had already known - a fact Gary had learnt from overhearing a conversation between her and Delia - then didn't Gary have some right to know, however small that right may be?

But in the end, he always came to the same conclusion: he should have simply asked Ash about it. Maybe things wouldn't have turned out well, but at least Gary had given him the opportunity to speak up. Perhaps if things had ended badly, then Gary would have his reason to be mad at Ash.

Yes, he was selfish. Nothing new there. But when the whole world already knew that, then what was the point in trying to deny it?

With an exaggerated sigh, Gary allowed himself to fall forward slightly, his forehead resting against the ruined patch of wallpaper. "Life's a bitch," he grumbled, his emerald eyes falling shut.

"Not quite," came a voice from behind him, causing his recently closed eyes to snap open. He turned around sharply, meeting an emerald gaze identical to his own, and a frown worthy of making a Tyranitar cower in shame. "Karma tends to target those who deserve it, but life itself isn't the bitch." The room seemed to drop several degrees in temperature. "It the people in it who tend to be."

There were two ways this conversation could go, and neither ended well for Gary. He'd wanted to avoid such a confrontation, but having thought it were possible was foolish of him.

"Have you come to yell at me, Daisy?" He asked, wasting no time in getting straight to the point. "Because if so, then please get it over with. I have better things to do."

Her sharp, emerald eyes narrowing, Daisy's stare alone was enough to freeze Gary where he stood. "No, I haven't," she said, an undertone in her voice assuring Gary that she was being truthful. "But I have come with something to say."

Gary would have rolled his eyes, had Daisy's mood not been visibly sour. He was angry at himself, but not enough to wish death upon his soul. Especially at the hands of his older sister. "Then go ahead," he invited, his tone not one of friendliness.

Shockingly enough, instead of her anger increasing, Daisy's entire stance softened. Gary even felt the tension being released from his entire body, but he wasn't fool enough to assume she was done, thus he kept his guard up.

"Gary," she sighed, tugging a strand of auburn hair behind her ear, looking rather weary, "what on earth are you playing at?"

At the question, Gary quirked an eyebrow, feeling a little like he was a five year old being scolded for not eating his vegetables. "What do you mean?" He asked, honestly unsure of her point, though it was apparently the wrong thing to say, as the other pair of emerald eyes hardened.

"Don't play the innocent, Gary," she warned, her arms folded across her chest. "You know perfectly well what I'm referring to. Or should I say _who?_"

As though he'd stuck his head in the oven, Gary felt his entire face heat up. Anyone else would have smirked in triumph at making Gary uneasy, but despite zero tolerence and merciless punishment for disobedience, Daisy was neither a sadist, nor had a flare for watching people squirm. He was thankful for it.

He sighed once more, deciding to drop the pretence. "What did he say this time?" He asked, knowing he could bluff all he wanted, but Daisy would always be able to see right through him. It was rather infuriating.

"Nothing. He hasn't said a word to anyone," she said, a flicker of sadness passing through her eyes. "But he doesn't need to." As quickly as it had come, her grief vanished, only to be replaced by unmissable anger. "I'm going to ask you this once, Gary," she warned, "_what did you do to him?_"

Maybe it was the frustration at being talked down at, like he was some immature kid, or perhaps it was the accusation over an event he wanted to forget. But either way, at his sister's words, Gary gained confidence from somewhere. "If you're so sure something's up, then why are you asking me?" He almost spat. Screw the consequences. "Or haven't you gotten it all figured out, yet? That's a change, being so behind. I'll bet you burst a blood vessel once you found out your little brother is gay, got distracted."

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Gary regretted saying anything. He subconsciously braced himself for what was to follow, but shockingly enough, nothing happened. It was a full minute before he was able to force himself to look back at Daisy.

Despite the verbal insult, Daisy didn't look angry, or even urked. All in all, she looked sad, a glimmer of pity in her emerald eyes. It didn't take long for Gary to decide that he felt worse that being shouted at.

"He loves you," her voice was quiet, non judgemental, but Gary still felt his heart clench.

With hesitence, he studied his sister's eyes, searching for something. But what, he didn't know. Disappointment, maybe? Misunderstanding? Yet anything he did find wasn't what he wanted. "How?" Was his one word response, requesting answers for a million different things he could not summon the will to ask.

Daisy seemed to understand. "Do you really think I didn't notice, Gary?" She asked, her tone unchanging. "Neither you, nor Ash had to say anything. I saw the way he looked at you, the way you looked at him .. he loves you, Gary." Her eyes met his. "And you love him."

As Gary opened his mouth to protest, she lifted a hand to silence him. "Please, Gary, don't deny it. Stop lying to yourself. You know it's the truth, you're just too scared to admit it."

If there was one thing Gary hated, it was being called a liar, in any shape or form. More than once in his life, Daisy had done just that, and history was being repeated. Yet as he was about to yell at her and deny everything, a sudden voice caught his attention.

"_'Breon_."

Two heads turned at the sound of the new arrival in time to see Umbreon slink into the room from behind Daisy. Ignoring the somewhat surprised looks she was recieving, the moonlight pokémon walked straight up to her master, pausing only when she was sitting in front of him, her ruby eyes fixed upon his own, her expression calculating.

"You okay, Umbreon?" Gary inquired, noticing that his pokémon seemed unlikely to make the first move.

Though Umbreon did not verbally reply, after a moment's hesitation, she gave a slight nod, so subtle Gary very nearly missed it.

"Do you care about him?" Daisy's voice caught Gary's attention, though Umbreon remained staring. At the questioning look she recieved, she elaborated, "Does Ash mean anything to you?"

Gary sighed quietly, closing his eyes. He didn't want to see any of the reactions he was going to recieve. "He's my best friend. Of course I care."

Only silence followed, almost to the point that Gary regretted answering. He could feel both Daisy and Umbreon's stares, but he couldn't bring himself to face up to them.

Eventually, after several minutes had passed by his guessed, Gary was just beginning to suspect that both girls had left, when he felt something warm and soft touch his injured hand. Opening his eyes and looking down at the development, he saw Umbreon, having finally moved, nuzzling her head against his hand, occasionally licking at the cuts to help heal the small wounds.

There was a small part of him that wanted to push her away, to leave his intentionally self inflicted pain to cause him distress, but the pure tenderness of the moonlight pokémon's actions melted away the annoyance budding in his chest. Sometimes he wondered how she could put up with him. He cared for her a lot, and she did too, that much was obvious, but there were still moments when he wondered how their relationship, which had initially begun as pokémon and trainer, could have possibly evolved to the point that she was able to become an Umbreon.

Befriending pokémon; at first it had seemed an impossible task, pointless, even. At least for him. He'd always cared for Umbreon, and all his pokémon, but at the time he'd never have thought that he'd be where he was now with her.

Ash, on the other hand, seemed more focused on his pokémon friends than his ultimate goal of becoming a Master. He'd even once berated Gary for not bothering to do the same. How different they'd once been. And still were.

Lifting his hand away from Umbreon's care, he instead smoothed down her inky fur, absent mindedly scratching behind her ears, just like she'd always enjoyed. She seemed content with this, purring slightly in gratitude.

"I was happy, at first," Daisy's softly spoken words gently broke the silence, reminding Gary she was still there. As he looked up at her, he saw she was gazing down at the interaction between pokémon and trainer, her emerald eyes glazed over. "You and Ash .. there's always been something between the two of you, I just don't think you've ever stopped and allowed yourself to notice it."

For a few moments, she looked uneasy, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, chewing her bottom lip as she did so. "And when you two got together a few weeks back, I was so sure things would finally be the way they should between you," she admitted, her eyes meeting her brother's. "But then I notice something; the way you looked at Ash, it was clear as day that you loved him more than anything, but still, if you saw him looking back at you, then you changed."

Her demenor shifted to one of complete seriousness, her emerald eyes burning into his with intensity. "Maybe you can admit it to yourself, but you're scared of letting him know. You afraid of Ash knowing that you're in love with him."

For the effect that her words had on him, Daisy may as well have simply slapped Gary across the face; his head jerked up suddenly, his body tensing. His entire outlook screamed defiance, but Daisy could see through any emotional mask he put on. She was spot on in her theory, and they both knew it.

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter," Gary replied before he could stop himself. "Ash is leaving, I'm leaving, so what's the point? Long distance relationships tend not to work out."

Once again, Daisy frowned. "I know what you're going, Gary. You're just picking at any excuse you can get, all because you're afraid."

"I'm not _afraid_," Gary retorted, though he knew it was pointless. He just didn't want her to get the last word.

But she sighed, as though she was instead speaking to a five year old who kept asking why the sky was blue. "Don't do this, Gary. Not to him, and not to yourself. What good can come out of it?" She took a step forward, placing her hand on his arm. "You already lost him once because of idiocy, don't let it happen again. Especially not for the same reason."

Gary stared at her, feeling the sincerity of her tone. Beside him, Umbreon nuzzled her head against his leg, giving a "_Brey_" of encouragement. He felt like his heart was becoming heavier and heavier, until eventually it sank, down from it's place in his chest and into his stomach, which churned uncomfortably.

He hated this. He hated the whole idea of pep talks, intermissions, _doubt_. There was at least some right in what he had chosen, wasn't there? Why should either he or Ash continue to drag everything out to the point that they both got hurt? Things were bad now, but in the end, it was the best decision.

.. right?

Having tuned out, Gary released a heavy sigh, allowing his eyes to fall shut as he brushed Daisy's hand away from his arm.

"Maybe," he admitted, feeling the tension in the room rise at the one word, "but I can't help you there."

"Gary - " Daisy tried, but was swiftly cut off.

"I'm done, okay? I don't know what Ash has told you, or if he told you anything, but it's over. I don't want anything else to do with it."

Silence passed, and Gary was beginning to wonder if Daisy had left the room, but just as he was about to open his eyes and check, he heard her speak;

"Perhaps you truly believe that, Gary." Her voice was thick, laced with sadness and .. disappointment. "But one day, you'll come to see why this will be the biggest regret of your life."

xxx

Like most people would assume in his position, Gary had thought that his sister was being mela dramatic. Sure, he could see Ash being sad, maybe he cried once or twice, but the way Daisy made it out to be, he would have thought that the trainer was dead on his feet.

Gary had seen him several times over the next few days, once, sometimes, twice a day at most. Ash seemed to be avoiding the lab, but a few times Gary had seen him outside with his pokémon, and had even gone round to the Ketchum house, mostly because he was running errands for Delia. Each of those times, he certainly didn't look very animated, but he was hardly close to jumping out a window or cutting his wrists in the bath tub.

Okay, so there were dark circles under his eyes, and it didn't seem like smiling was worth the effort for him, anymore. He wasn't exactly sparking with life and overflowing with energy like usual, but nor was he the semi comatose wreck Daisy had painted him out to be.

At least, not until the day before Ash was scheduled to leave. Gary caught a glimpse of him once, during the trainer visit to say his goodbyes to his pokémon, bar Pikachu, and needless to say, Ash looked _awful_.

Gary's mind seemed to screencap the brief apparation presented before him, burning the image of Ash's haggard face into the back of his eyelids. The trainer's once fiery sienna eyes were now a dull, lifeless muddy brown, underlined in dark circles and heavy bags, like he hadn't slept since Gary had ended things between them. And as Gary's stomach twisted into a knot at the thought, he couldn't find a plausible reason to doubt that was the case.

Ash's skin seemed paler, and cheekbones were more prominent, but not in a flattering way, resembling a starved prisoner than a healthy weight loss. All in all, he seemed thinner, but as his choice of wardrobe permenantly seemed to consist of jeans and long sleeved jackets, it was hard to tell for sure.

Gary's heart clenched painfully, and it suddenly seemed harder to breathe, each breath a struggle to obtain, as though a Scizor were clamping it's pinsors down on his lungs. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Ash wasn't supposed to be suffering, he was meant to be .. well, Gary didn't know. But it wasn't this!

An hour had passed since Ash had left, sharing a brief goodbye with Professor Oak and Tracey before wandering out the front door. Gary had kept his distance, staying inside his grandfather's study during the trainer's visit, and only now did he emerge, a heavy sensation of guilt squirming around in his stomach like an Ekans. It hurt.

In approximately eighteen hours, a plane would leave for Unova, taking Ash with it.

Gary had never been so sure of anything else in his life. He needed to see Ash. Now.

xxx

It shouldn't have been this way. Even though Gary hadn't put much thought into how things would be after ending things with Ash, he knew he hadn't once assumed that any kind of relationship between them would have ended along with it. He'd anticipated that things would be boardering on awkward in the following few days, weeks even, yet just one look at Ash was all it took to confirm that any chance of restoring their former friendship was non existent.

Gary was, without a doubt, at a low point in his life. He needed Ash. He was tired, lonely, and his entire chest ached as his heart yearned for the raven haired boy. It didn't have to be like this. They could at least part as friends, which by far better than this, which was _nothing_.

It wasn't right. Throughout their whole lives, even during their petty childhood rivalry, they'd never been nothing to one another. Even if he hadn't been able to admit it, Gary had still cared for Ash more than he would have liked, and he knew the trainer never felt hate towards him. There may not have been a solid friendship, but there was still something, there always had been.

But now, it was gone.

Ash had always been focused on his journey, his dream to become a pokémon master, and Gary respected that. He _encouraged_ it. He always had; there was even a rather prominent part on his side of the rivalry that was dedicated to spurring Ash on. If it meant teasing and belittling him to achieve that, then so be it. Sure, it wasn't the best method, but it worked, hadn't it?

.. right?

It had at first, back when Ash had a one track mind, and subconsciously, knowing that it was working added fuel to the fire. But now, even their rivalry wasn't something that could be reignited between them. Gary could go back to teasing Ash, just like he used to, but it would only create despair, not motivation. The last thing Gary wanted was to further damage his already fragile bond with Ash.

Gary missed him. He knew that now. He knew how much he cared for Ash, and only after he'd broken the younger's heart.

Without even realising he had made the decision to go, Gary found himself standing outside the Ketchum house. The sky was dark, but not late enough in the evening to go to sleep. Around an hour before they would usually meet up. He was near the base of a climbing tree that grew to the side of the house, one that he and Ash would spend the summer days playing around, and the very one that Ash would climb down to sneak out of the house to meet Gary, or for Gary to climb up and enter Ash's bedroom.

Those days were far behind them, and the tree had remained more or less untouched for quite a few years. Yet it stood tall and sturdy, it's thickest branch reaching out to Ash's bedroom window, past which Gary could see a soft glow, indicating that a lamp was on in the bedroom. Meaning Ash had not yet gone to sleep. If he could, that was, Gary recalled with no small ammount of guilt.

Forcing himself to gather courage from somewhere, Gary reached up to grab hold of one of the branches. As predicted, it was still strong and sturdy, and would easily be able to hold his weight. Being considerably taller than his seven year old self, climbing the tree was both significantly easier, yet harder at the same time. While the branches were more within his reach and the distance between the tree and the window meant he wouldn't have to get Ash to open it from the inside, his younger, and smaller self had a much simpler task in weaving himself through the gaps between branches, meaning Gary's current predicament was a tricky one.

Nonetheless, he eventually reached his destination. The window was open, since the summer night was warm, so Gary easily crawled through, carefully avoiding making any sound, or to end up breaking something.

As his feet touched the carpet, Gary looked around. The room, though softly lit, was empty. He let out a drawn out sigh, his emerald eyes trailing over everything in sight. It had only been a few days since he'd last been in here, and it still felt like years had passed.

Everything was practically identical to his last memory of the room, aside from Ash himself. The bed was still unmade, a pile of laundry was situated near the door, and most everything else was disorganised, just like it had always been. Gary almost felt nostalgic just by being there.

Yet there was something .. off about the whole setting. Gary recognised everything in sight, but at the same time, nothing felt the same. If he were to put the feeling into words, it was as though the room were dead, as though before, the mere objects in the room, even the random clutter taking up all the shelf space, radiated an aura of life. But now, there was .. nothing.

It was disturbing, to say the least.

As emerald eyes continued over the interior of the room, something out of the corner of his vision caught his interest. Turning his head in the same direction, Gary looked over the hastily placed items covering Ash's desk. Mostly it all consisted things such stationary and a few scrunched pieces of paper; it was one of those torn scraps that spiked his attention.

Written in blue ink on the lined paper, clear as day, were two words he heard often.

_Gary Oak_.

The paper was concealed almost completely by the hat Ash had worn while in Sinnoh, but those two words remained visible.

His curiosity immediately got the better of him, and he pushed the hat aside, allowing the imperfect sheet to rest in full view.

Emerald eyes slowly widened with each word they fell upon.

The heading itself was enough to stun him.

Pro's and Con's

But it was what listed underneath that sealed the deal. Twin columns of blue ink dominated the entire page, and the more Gary read, the worse the pain in his chest became.

_I can keep travelling_. **I've been away long enough.**

_The Unova league_. **The Indigo League is just as good.**

_I can train more_. **I can do that anywhere.**

_I'll get to learn more about pokémon_. **There's still a lot I don't know here.**

The list went on, further down the page until ..

_I'll be able to meet new people_. **I'll get to stay with Gary.**

Gary gripped the edge of the table hard, his emerald eyes closed, and his expression pained.

Ash may have just been straight up honest in writing the list, it was as obvious as it could get, anyway. Less a 'pro's and con's' list, and more of a 'should I go to Unova, or should I stay here' debate. And apparently he quit after considering his ex .. boyfriend?

"What are you doing here, Gary?"

The question was spoken so softly, for a moment Gary was unsure if anything had been said. But as he turned his gaze towards the door, his heart faltered as he saw Ash standing there, dressed in pyjamas that seemed much too big for his skinny frame. He was clearly exhausted, his once bright sienna eyes now bruised and hollow, devoid of any meaningful life.

Gary's traitorous heart squeezed horribly; he had to clench his fists as tight as he could solely to fight the urge to go up to Ash and hold him close, never to let go. "Looking for you," he managed, surpressing any emotion from showing in his voice. He was pretty certain he failed.

For a while, Ash didn't respond, instead standing where he was and staring at Gary with lifeless eyes. "Figures," he finally said, his voice dry and monotone. "So are you happy now?"

It was Gary's turn to stare. "Ash, what .. why would I be happy?" He questioned.

Ash let out a silent breath of air. "You won, Gary. Are you happy about it?" Still, his voice contained no emotion. "Did you want evidence that you've inflicted enough damage on your discarded fucktoy? Is that it?"

"What?!" Gary yelped, turning to face Ash fully. "No, that's not it! Do you .. do you really believe that?" He could feel the tears beginning to gather in his eyes. He'd royally screwed up this time.

An emotion flashed through Ash's eyes, disappeared just as soon as it arrived. Too quick for Gary to put a name to it. "Just like you said," he spoke. "'Only fucking' - your exact words."

"Ash, I didn't mean it, I swear!" Gary protested. For once he had no idea what he could say to make this better. "I .. shouldn't have said that. Any of it."

The younger raised an eyebrow marginally. "Then why did you?" He questioned, then, "Wait, because you're an idiot, right?"

Emerald eyes looked down at the carpet in shame. "You know me, Ash. I've always been an idiot, especially when it comes to you," he admitted. "It was never 'just fucking'."

There was a long pause, then, " .. yeah, right."

"It's the truth!" Gary insisted, but he got no response. "You weren't ever my fucktoy, Ash; even if you were, I must have been your's, right?"

A pink glow lit up Ash's cheeks, and he shifted a little, clearly uncomfortable. "So .. why are you here?" He asked, sounding more exhausted than Gary thought possible.

Tell him you love him, tell him you love him, tell him you love him!

"Because .. " _I love you_. "I .. needed .. to see you .. "

He recieved no response.

As the seconds ticked on, gradually turning into minutes, Gary slowly gathered the courage to look. His hesitant emerald eyes redirected their gaze from the carpet to the rim of Ash's pyjama trousers, long enough to cover his feet. From there, they slowly moved up, over the material, up Ash's torso, and eventually to his face.

Sienna eyes were glazed over, any emotion absent. They no longer looked at Gary, and instead focused to the side. No doubt whatever Ash was thinking, it didn't relate in any way to forgiveness. And when those brown orbs came to rest upon emerald green, that one look caused Gary to do something he'd never come close to doing at any point in his life before.

Taking a step forward, Gary dropped to one knee before Ash. He never begged. He never handed over control. He didn't wear his heart on his sleeve.

He didn't listen to his heart and live a lonely life because of it.

Gary didn't want that. He _wouldn't_ let himself live that way. He had to put himself out there. If he didn't, then he would never know, and if there were even a slight chance that he and Ash could part on better terms, then Gary was taking it.

"Ash," he spoke, staring deep into those broken, sienna eyes, "if I told you that I'm so sorry I ended things the way I did, and that I missed you more than anything .. what would you say?"

Sienna eyes blinked in shock, unshed tears clinging to the ends of dark lashes. "I .. " His voice was full of disbelief, hesitance and confusion. It hurt Gary's heart to hear. "I'd .. ask you why you did it, why you said what you said, and I .. " His lips pressed together in a tense line. He trembled slightly as his fists clenched, his tear filled eyes swimming with anger. "And I'd say you'd better be sorry for what you did."

Gary inhaled shakily. At least Ash wasn't shouting at him to leave. "I've made a lot of mistakes in my life," he confessed, feeling uneasy, but determined as he did so, "but I've never regretted anything more than breaking up with you."

Brown eyes searched green, which held nothing but sincerity. " .. so why did you do it?" The younger asked, his lower lip trembling ever so slightly.

"Delia told me you were leaving," Gary admitted, "and you hadn't said _anything_ about it." He breathed out shakily. "I've always wanted you to fulfil your dream and become a pokémon master, you know that. But I .. I guess I was clinging onto the hope that if you weren't planning to go anywhere in the near future, you could .. that _we_ could stay together, then maybe - mmph!"

A pair of lips pressed against his own, ending his sentence, while Ash wrapped his arms around Gary's neck, kissing him with such force they both fell back, Ash landing quite comfortably on Gary's chest.

For a long while they remained where they were, never once breaking the contact they shared, until Ash eventually pulled away. He looked into the stunned emerald eyes of his former lover, their lips touching as he spoke. "I .. I was gonna ask you to come with me," he admitted, looking sheepish as he lowered his eyes. He bit down on his lower lip while staring at the zipper on Gary's jacket.

Emerald eyes widened in sudden shock. " .. what?" His voice was momentarily weakened as he processed the information. "But .. you didn't ask," he pointed out, his eyes narrowing a little. "Ash, you were leaving in less than a week. Why did you ask?"

Ash refocused his gaze upon Gary. "I .. I keep putting it off," he admitted in a quiet voice, clearly ashamed. "I knew you were going back to Sinnoh, and I didn't want to lose any of the time we had left if you said no .. " His eyes flickered back to Gary's jacket. "It's stupid, but .. I guess it made sense at the time .. "

Had Gary thought so, he didn't show it. "You wanted me to go with you?" He asked, still unable to fully grasp the situation.

His gaze still fixed unwaveringly upon the neck line of Gary's jacket, Ash shifted against him, no verbal reply needed.

Gary reached up, gently brushing aside the fringe of raven hair. "And .. do you still want me to? Even after what I did?"

Ash looked up once more, tears finally spilling over as he nodded shyly.

Inhaling, then exhaling deeply, Gary mused, only half to himself, "Well, I have been thinking I should travel more," hesitant brown eyes shined with hope, "and there are a lot of pokémon there I haven't even heard of .. "

" .. so?" Ash dared himself to speak. " .. does that mean you'll come?" There was no denying the barely concealed hope in his voice.

Looking deeply into Ash's eyes, Gary gave him a genuine smile. "Why not?" He said, "I only want to be where you are, Ash."

He would have said more, but before he could grasp the chance, Ash leaned forward, his lips meeting Gary's in a frenzy of need. His arms tightened around Gary, as the researcher's came up to hold him, one circling around his waist, and one burying itself in dark hair.

Ash moaned lightly as he felt Gary's lips part, a tongue running across his bottom lip, requesting entrance, which Ash didn't hesitate to grant. He pulled his legs up so he was straddling Gary's waist, his member pressed up against him, which Gary could feel becoming hard, even through his jacket.

He gasped suddenly, as Ash reached down and grasped Gary through his jeans, rubbing his hand against the demin and feeling Gary hardening against his touch.

"Fuck," Gary groaned, his lips parting from Ash's oxygen became very much required.

Above him, he saw Ash smirk quite deviously. "Oh, I will," he cooed, in a way that made Gary shiver. With his free hand, he pulled down the zip on Gary's jacket, revealing the white shirt underneath, then almost immediately pressed his lips to Gary's neck, kissing the patch of skin before nipping at it.

Gary's arm tightened around Ash's waist, his hand gripping raven hair tightly. His breathing quickened as Ash ran his tongue over the broken skin on Gary's neck, sucking firmly, determined to leave a mark.

Gary moaned deeply, his head falling back, overcome at the sheer intensity of having Ash back in his arms. His hands trailed down Ash's back, relishing the feeling of the raven haired boy shivering at the touch, and pulled at the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and exposing Ash's torso. The younger, aware of his lover's point, arched his back and lifted his arms, making the action easier.

The very second the shirt touched the carpet was when Ash's lips collided with Gary's in a flurry of passion. As Gary's hands roamed up and down his bare skin, it didn't take long for Ash to decide he wanted the same privilege, and shimmed lower down to sit on Gary's thighs while he tugged at the white shirt.

Thankfully for him, it seemed Gary wanted the very same, and sat up to allow Ash to pull it off him entirely.

Instead of throwing his arms around Gary's neck and holding him as close as he could manage, Ash placed both his palms against Gary's chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath he took.

It was mesmorising.

Unable to resist, Ash trailed his hands to either side, watching intently for each reaction Gary gave. When he touched Gary's nipples, he felt the muscles beneath his palms tense, a muffled groan escaping Gary's lips.

The sound urged him on, and he subtly flicked the tan nub; the reaction that followed was stronger than before. Before he knew it, he was gently teasing them both into hardness, as Gary buried his face in dark hair his breathing heavy, warming Ash's scalp.

They both shivered.

That very second was when neither could wait any longer. Warm hands slid beneath the rim of Ash's pyjama trousers, and he was instantly grateful he'd forgone wearing any underwear, as it made the whole thing so much easier. Before he even realised it had happened, Ash was free of any clothing, kneeling completely naked above Gary, one leg either side of his hips.

"Uh .. Gary?" He panted, staring into emerald depths.

But Gary was uninterested in any words being spoken. "Shh," he soothed, placing the lightest of kisses upon Ash's lips, his hands finding their way to Ash's backside, recieving a moan in response when he applied pressure.

Ash's arms coiled around his neck as the younger deepened their kisses, a tongue invading Gary's mouth as he willingly parted his lips. As their tongues danced together, Gary pressed his index finger to Ash's entrance, teasing it a little before pushing it inside. But when Ash tensed, whimpering in pain, he paused, then retracted his finger.

"D'you have any lube?" Gary asked, breaking their lip contact to voice the question.

Ash almost seemed to think the question over a little, before nodding. "Uh, yeah .. in the .. the top drawer," he murmured, his eyes half lidded as he reached behind Gary, fumbling around with something for a while before producing a bottle of purple lubricant. "Here .. "

Gary took the familiar bottle, flicking the lid off and squeezing some of the purple liquid into his hand, coating his fingers as much as he could. He set the bottle on the floor, then went to repeat his action, only this time, there was no protest.

Ash buried both his hands in auburn spikes, groaning as the uncomfortable, yet familiar feeling invaded him from behind.

Once he was satisfied Ash had adjusted to the first digit, Gary inserted a second, withdrawing them both almost all the way, before sliding them back in, repeating the motion until Ash was pushing back down, content sighs escaping. When Gary entered a third finger, there was only a momentary pause before Ash continued his movements. And by then, Gary was almost burning with desire.

Though before he could pull his hand away, two smaller ones untangled themselves from his hair, running down his chest and clumsily undoing the button on his jeans. Once Ash was done, the yanked them down, Gary retracting his fingers as he did so, until they were off completely, along with Gary's shoes and socks, both of them unclothed.

As Ash returned to his original position, Gary picked up the bottle again, this time covering his arousal, utterly unwilling to bring anymore pain to his lover.

When he moved both his hands away to hold onto Ash's hips, the raven haired boy began to lower himself, feeling the tip of Gary's length nudging against his entrance a moment later. He bit the inside of his lip in anticipation of what was about to follow, his grip on Gary's shoulders tightening.

Gary held a firm grip on Ash's hips, his eyes scrunched shut as the tip of his arousal was engulfed in an unbearable heat. His breathing began to speed up, his heart pounding in his chest. It took every last ounce of self control to keep himself from thrusting up into Ash.

As he lowered himself onto the hard member, Ash grit his teeth, trying with all his might to supress the dam of moans that were struggling to escape past his lips. But as he buried Gary's entire length inside himself, his control was lost; pleasure filled moans, combined with his quick, heavy breaths flooded out from within his throat as he felt the hard length pressing against that sensitive spot hidden deep within him.

Unable to wait any longer, Ash slowly rose, then slid back down, quickly becoming lost in the pleasurable sensations that immediately begun coursing through his body. Repeating the process over and over, settling into a rhythm, his head lolled back, his every nerve singing as wave after wave of euphoric bliss flowed through him, consuming him completely.

Though they remained half lidded, Gary opened his eyes, watching the younger male sitting atop him, slowly rising up and sliding down. It was mesmorising, the motions, the sounds, the expressions his raven haired lover made. He could hardly control himself; he leaned forward, kissing Ash's chest, then running his tongue over a nipple and sucking it, the bud becoming hard beneath his ministrations.

Once satisfied, Gary released it, and began kissing his way up to Ash's neck and jawline, one hand trailing up Ash's side to gently tease his other nipple into hardness.

Ash moaned through his euphoriam tilting his head to the side as Gary nibbled along his jawline, brushing his lips across his cheek until they came into contact with those of his lover. He teased them, licking and sucking upon them until Ash granted him access.

Gary taunted the opposing tongue, carefully rising to his feet. Ash wrapped his arms around Gary's neck, his legs curling around his waist, holding on as they moved towards the bed, both wanting to retain their deep contact.

A moment later, Ash felt himself being lowered down on his back atop his duvet, Gary coming to rest on top of him, their chests touching. Gary rolled his hips against Ash's, making the younger arch into him, pulling Gary closer with his legs.

Continuing to do so, Gary pulled away from Ash's lips in order to look down at the calm, pleasure filled face of his lover. It was in this moment that Ash always looked more beautiful than Gary would have ever thought possible; his large sienna eyes were glazed over by lust, his cheeks flushed pink, and his lips parted slightly, moans passing them with each thrust Gary gave.

There were no words Gary could think of that would describe just how perfect Ash was.

He slid his hands up from Ash's sides, and he leaned down to kiss his neck, running his tongue over the fading mark from a few days ago, gently nipping and sucking the same area of skin, defining the hickey once more. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, then moved to place his lips on Ash's, kissing him deeply. HIs thrusts continued; long, slow, and utterly torturing, causing Ash to thrust his own hips up against him, desperately trying to create more friction and gain more depth.

Ash's hand interwined within wild, auburn hair, locking in place in order to hold onto something to prevent losing himself within carnal bliss.

Gary rested his hands next to Ash's sides, letting him lift up and gain more leverage and strength for his thrusts, while Ash instinctively wrapped his arms around his lower back, pulling Gary closer, almost as though he were afraid his lover was going to leave him.

Gary's thrusts became deeper with each passing moment, and as a result, Ash's moans became louder, almost to the point of screaming as Gary abused that wonderous spot within him, the one place that made him weak to Gary's touches. Tension was building up almost unbearably in his stomach, his breathing heavy and laboured as he neared his peak. His dripping arousal was rubbing against Gary's toned stomach, making the intense burn that much more unbearable, his release coiling tightly.

Gary grasped Ash's hips once again, lifting him up so he could thrust harder into his lover, going as deep as he dared to go.

The younger threw his head back against the pillows, his back arching as his release neared. He was so close, he just needed a little more ..

"G - Ga .. Gary ~ !" Ash's screams of ecstasy radiated throughout the room, as the trainer threw his head back, panting heavily. "I .. I .. ngh - aahh ~ !"

The string of garbled nonsense was the only sound that Ash could make, his body arching, eyes scrunched shut, and his entire face a shade of pink. And as Gary slammed into him once more, ruthlessly stimulating that wonderous spot within Ash that made him scream in mindless pleasure, sienna eyes burst open, pink lips formed into a perfect 'o' as he reached his climax, white spilling out of his neglected arousal and coating Gary's stomach.

Every muscle in his body weakened, and each nerve singing a high tune, Ash fell back against the bed, lost in the waves of euphoric bliss that consumed him. His chest heaved, his ears ringing, and his vision non existent as he basked in the sheer intensity of his high.

For those few, wonderous moments, it felt as though nothing existed outside of his pleasure filled stupor, overflowing with pure ecstasy. That is, until an oh-so familiar sound reached his ears as Gary orgasmed, followed instantly by the tingling feeling of being filled to the brim.

The silence that would have followed was tainted by the heavy breathing of both teens. Gary slumped down to lie completely on Ash, unable to move if he tried. Nor did Ash have any qualms against this.

Eventually, as the minutes passed, their strength returned to them, the post orgasmic sensations calmed to a mere after glow.

" .. Gary?" The younger asked, once his breathing had controlled itself to a reasonable level.

Still far too weakened to even attempt to lift himself, Gary, his face still pressed into the dip in Ash's neck, replied with, "Yeah?"

Unable to resist, Ash ran his hands through the mass of auburn spikes, a small, sleepy smile on his face. "That was - "

" - good?" Gary guessed, also smiling.

With a devious glint in his eyes, Ash shook his head a little. "Phenomonal."

Several seconds passed before Gary pushed himself up on his arms to look Ash in his eyes, twin emeralds reflecting surprise. "Excuse me?" He asked, not quite sure if he'd heard correctly, or if the high of simply being with Ash again had hindered his ability to hear.

Ash's smile increased. "My vocabulary doesn't stop at 'good'," he explained, almost giggling at Gary's look of bewilderment.

Eventually, Gary's smile mirrored Ash's. "You don't say," he chuckled, leaning down to pant a kiss on those pink lips. "Anything else I should know?" He murmured in the brief moments they weren't connected.

Ash hummed breathily in confirmation. "Yeah," was his reply, as he tightened his hold around his lover. "It's late," he elaborated, "and I'm sleepy."

xxx

When morning came, sunlight seeping through the chinks in the blinds, Gary was pleasantly roused from his sleep, a warm, comfortable weight on top of him, and a soothing breeze tickling his neck. He didn't want to move; everything about the early morning was lulling him back to sleep.

Yet just as he was on the brink of falling back into blissful dreams, he felt something brush against his cheek. It was a tender gesture, one that gave Gary the motivation to open his eyes. The moment he did, he found himself staring up into a pair of sienna.

"You've never stayed the night before," Ash murmured, continuing to stroke the side of Gary's face, brushing away the stray auburn tresses. As Gary reached up to hold the smaller hand in his own, a genuine smile graced Ash's lips. "You look really cute when you sleep."

Gary raised an eyebrow. "I could say the same to you," he stated. Then he sighed. "But just think, this is our first time actually sleeping together."

Ash paused in his ministrations, his eyebrows coming together in realisation. "You're right," he responded. "Weird, huh?"

Gary hummed his agreement, as Ash shifted slightly, looking as though something was occupying his mind.

"I .. I wanted you to," he admitted quietly, looking a little embarassed, as though he expected Gary to tease him for it.

However, Gary only said, "You never asked."

Though doing so a little awkwardly in his position, Ash shrugged. "I didn't think I needed to," he said, lowering himself to rest his head on Gary's chest, tracing small circles with his pinky finger. "I sorta thought it was obvious I wanted you to stay. I like being with you."

Running a hand through the tangle of raven hair, Gary sighed, recalling the nights he'd snuck off before Ash had the chance to wake up and find him there. Even during the nights they'd spent at Gary's, he'd always thought up some mundane reason not to be there when Ash inevitably roused from his sleep. All those nights, Ash had fallen asleep in Gary's arms, only to wake up alone.

The researcher felt a pang of guilt in his chest.

He didn't want to waste any more time with Ash. For far too long he'd taken the young trainer for granted. Starting right that second, he would do it no more.

With that thought, Gary rolled over, pushing Ash onto his back as he lay over him, their lips barely an inch apart. His emerald eyes stared deep into the mildly stunned sienna, which blinked several times.

"Ash," the researcher started hesitantly, unsure of how to go about it.

Ash, noticing his lover's unease, gave him an encouraging smile. "It's okay," he soothed, "go ahead. You can tell me."

Those brown eyes were sincere, to the point that it was all Gary needed. With a smile of his own, the words he had always wanted to say came tumbing out;

"I love you, Ash," he confessed, watching as those warm, innocent eyes widened marginally. "I have .. for a really long time."

Moments passed as Ash allowed the words to sink in. There were so many things he could say right now, including the obvious, but in his typical fashion, he instead asked, "For how long?"

Gary wasn't annoyed, and for a few seconds, his eyes glazed over with thought. "I don't know," he admitted. "At the time we were in the Silver Conference was when I realised it, but I'm pretty sure I've liked you for .. well, a lot longer."

"The Silver Conference?" Ash mused, his lips in a slight frown.

" .. is something wrong?" Gary asked, confusion lacing his tone with Ash's sudden switch in mood. Though not as much as when Ash suddenly beamed at him.

"I've liked you since we were seven," he confessed happily. "Maybe before that, but I remember that moment."

Gary thought back, but couldn't pinpoint the exact moment Ash was hinting at. "Could you refresh my memory?" He requested, and Ash nodded.

"That summer we were at the beach, when I dropped my ice cream, and you shared your's with me."

This time, it was Gary's turn to blink in surprise. "Since then?" He asked in disbelief, only to be met by another nod.

Ash was met with silence, the ensuing minute being one where the smile gradually disappeared from his face. "What's wrong?" He asked, feeling his chest tighten.

" .. nothing," Gary said, drawing himself out of his thoughts. "I'm just a little offended, that's all."

Sienna eyes widened in shock. "What d'you mean?" He asked, his heart fluttered nervously in his chest.

"You fell in love with me after that incident," Gary said slowly, his emerald eyes serious, "but what about the summer before that? Does my heroic rescue from those Beedrill mean nothing to you?"

Ash could only stare for several moments, before he noticed the grin threatening to make itself known on Gary's expression. A pillow promptly collided with the researcher's head.

"Don't do that!" Ash complained, as Gary laughed at his embarassment. "You had me really worried!"

"Oh?" Gary mused, managing to retain his laughter as he raised an eyebrow. "What's that? Did worry you, Ashy?"

Though his body was still pinned beneath Gary's, Ash turned his head sharply to the right, away from that infuriating smirk. " .. no .. " He mumbled, pink glazing his cheeks.

Gary wasn't fazed. "Is that so?" He teased, pressing his lips to Ash's exposed neck when the he refused to respond. "You can't fool me, Ashy boy."

Ash shifted, his lips pushed out in that adorable pout of his. "I'm just telling it like it is," he insisted, almost grumpily. It only made Gary chuckle.

"You're too cute for your own good, you know that?" He murmured against Ash's neck, his tone overflowing with affection.

"I'm not cute," Ash huffed, but tilted his head to the side a little more, granting Gary better access as he started to nip at the sensitive skin. The trainer allowed his eyes to flutter shut, moaning contently at the ministration.

Gary continued his work, sucking at the patch of skin to form a fresh mark so that Ash bore one either side of his neck, very nearly symmetrical with one another. As Gary pulled away to examine his work, his hands trailed down Ash's chest and stomach. He smirked at the moans the simple action coaxed out of his raven haired lover, but halted all movement as a thought struck him.

" .. Gary?" Ash questioned, being drawn out of his pleasured stupor at the sudden lack of contact.

A moment later, Gary turned his head to meet Ash's eyes, his eyebrows pulled together slightly in thought. "Shouldn't you be on a plane right about now?" He inquired, the thoughts that had bothered him coming back full force.

Sienna eyes blinked a few times, but Ash then shook his head lazily. "Nope," was all he said, closing his eyes once more.

Gary frowned, confused with the development. "What do you mean?"

With his eyes still closed, Ash smiled. "I'm not going anywhere," he said. "I'm staying right here."

Gary could only stare for a moment, then he sighed. "This isn't about something I've done, is it?" He asked, thinking back to the night before.

Ash opened one eye, his expression unchanged from his relaxed smile. "Why would you think that?" He inquired, genuinely curious.

Gary shrugged slightly. "I don't know, just .. stuff, y'know?"

Ash frowned. "No, I don't know," he said, and Gary sighed.

"Well, were you really expecting any of this," he indicated to the both of them, "to happen when you woke up yesterday?" He paused, before adding, "Have your plans even changed in the slightest since last week?"

Still, Ash continued to frown. "Apart from staying here, then no," he replied.

"Ash," the researcher went on, seriously, "you're supposed to be heading to Unova right now. Instead you're lying in bed with me. Doesn't that bother you?"

For a micro second, Ash didn't react, then his frown curled into a seductive grin. "Give me one good reason why sitting on a plane all day is in any way better than being here with you," he challenged.

Despite not getting a full answer, Gary couldn't help but laugh a little at the response. "I'm serious, Ash - "

"So am I," the trainer interjected. Gary ignored it.

" - you've been planning to go to Unova for a while. It's not everyday someone's plans just change before they know it." He hesitated, looking uncomfortable as he said, "I don't want to hold you back from anything."

Ash's hand immediately reached out to stroke his cheek, pushing away the stray auburn strands. "You're not," he assured. "I was gonna ask you to come with me, remember? And I did. But I don't think you can plan to leave for another region overnight."

Gary couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at the comment. "But saving the invite until the last minute is okay?" It wasn't so much a question, but Ash looked a little embarassed.

"I .. I was worried you'd say no, and .. things would become really awkward," he admitted, not meeting the emerald gaze. At least, not until Gary cupped one side of his face, gently coaxing Ash to look at him.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Gary inquired, and Ash nodded automatically, making the researcher sigh. "Don't lie to me, Ash," he pleaded.

Hesitance filled Ash's features, and for a while it seemed as though he were debating whether or not to chew his lower lip. "Do you .. remember when we were kids, and we promised we'd travel together?"

Ash didn't need to say anything else.

"That's what you wanted for us now." It wasn't a question.

Not breaking eye contact, Ash nodded.

Initially, Gary appeared almost lost for words, then a small smile touched his lips. "Well, just because I'm not the nicest guy doesn't mean I don't keep my promises."

Ash blinked. "So .. ?"

Gary could have laughed, but instead opted to wrap his arms around Ash and hold him close. "You're such an idiot," he murmured.

"Hey!" Came the protest, and Gary could hear the pout in his tone.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Ash," Gary insisted. "At least not about something so serious."

The raven haired boy in his arms only scowled, emitting a growl that bore a striking resemblance to the sound a very displeased Skitty would make. Yet before long, smaller arms found their way around Gary's neck.

"Yeah," he murmured, nuzzling his head against Gary's shoulder as a yawn made itself known. "I know."

xxx

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry! I wasn't quite sure how to end it. But I'm done. So that's one less thing to worry about. That is, until I get ambitious and decide to write two fics at once. Again. Should that idea ever cross my mind, someone please remind me why I should never attempt to do so xD

Anyways, if you enjoyed, then may you review? It's always lovely to know you guys like what I write :)


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